Yesterday, I was talking to my friend who is a bit older than me. She is always at me about the fact that I don't go out much. I don't understand why people who find out that you like being home have issue with that. I enjoy my home and being in it. Gone are the days of chasing after small kids, taking them to school, picking them up, grocery shopping, running errands, working two jobs and caring for an elderly Aunt & Uncle. Also, trying to maintain friendships, deal with single motherhood, a nasty ex-husband and still date. I was always on the go when I was younger. Frankly, I am happy with my life.
There are times I miss from my younger years but my health prevents me from doing certain things. I have grown accustomed to being limited to some degree but I don't think I am abnormal because I like to be home. I no longer live close to any of my long-time friends and their lives are busy. I am no longer in the working world but I find I really do not miss it. I am so tired of people questioning me about being home so much and trying to turn me into a head-case with Agoraphobia. I Do Not have that illness!!!
I go out when I want to. I am not afraid to go out. I have a very caring, sweet man for a husband who has a great sense of humor and is very loving. He would never prevent me from doing something I wanted to do. He has always advocated any endeavor I took on. My son, Kyle is great company after school but I make sure he has his alone time too. After school we talk a little, he gets a snack, does homework and then proceeds to finish his day as he sees fit. Seems normal to me. I spend my day as I see fit. I think if the men in the white suits had to be called to get me to go to the doctor's office or the store, out to dinner..."Then Houston, we have a problem!" But, right now, I am content to stay home, end of story...
May 20, 2009
May 19, 2009
"The In-Law Taboo"
I've been up all night trying to figure out why there is this thing I call "The In-law Taboo"?
Often I've thought about writing a book about it. It's like an automatic response that you are not supposed to like your In-laws. I've heard of people who have wonderful relationships with their in-laws, but my life doesn't work that way no matter how hard I try. I'm not talking about my husband's parents, although that has been bumpy at times, I have survived it. I'm relaying how awful it feels that my DIL dislikes me! I have never done a thing to her. He's changed completely toward me. I don't even know him anymore. This has gone on for 3 years out of 4.
Believe it or not this started over a Christmas Ham that I was late bringing to their house 3 years ago. Since then she has held a grudge against me and turned him on me as well. We didn't speak for over a year, then I begged him to be back in my life in Feb. and we are on speaking terms. For awhile it seemed to be straight. But...he very rarely comes here without her, he rides past my house at least 4 times a day as his business is on the other end of my street but he won't stop to see me. He never calls, he has told me not to call him, I am to email him. Before DIL, we were close and I couldn't have asked for a better person that I could call 'my son'. Now, it's gone. It's like in his eyes, I don't exist. I have fought with myself over why he allowed this to happen. I have done everything possible to repair my relationship with him and her but it just gets worse. I feel like he now just plain avoids me. I knew that once he married, they become one and he cleaves to her but no place in the bible says he should ignore his parents. I have kept my mouth shut (not easy for me) on numerous occasions and basically been told if I do see him, it's on his terms. Well...I don't even see him! I saw him the weekend before Mother's Day. Every holiday they are busy.
I ask myself should I just blow him off as well or what do I do? His wife speaks to me only if she has to and it seems very icy and cold through gritted teeth. I wish with all my heart she would just say what it is I did to really make her hate me. If I only knew...I would do whatever it would take to regain the friendship we once had. I never knew I could shed so many tears and be so hurt by something such as this. Usually, I can just move on but I can't get past it. Is it true? Is there In-law Taboo? Any comments left would be appreciated. There is way more to this but being disabled, it's too hard to go into all of it. I just know I am getting more and more depressed by it. I feel like an alien at times...
Often I've thought about writing a book about it. It's like an automatic response that you are not supposed to like your In-laws. I've heard of people who have wonderful relationships with their in-laws, but my life doesn't work that way no matter how hard I try. I'm not talking about my husband's parents, although that has been bumpy at times, I have survived it. I'm relaying how awful it feels that my DIL dislikes me! I have never done a thing to her. He's changed completely toward me. I don't even know him anymore. This has gone on for 3 years out of 4.
Believe it or not this started over a Christmas Ham that I was late bringing to their house 3 years ago. Since then she has held a grudge against me and turned him on me as well. We didn't speak for over a year, then I begged him to be back in my life in Feb. and we are on speaking terms. For awhile it seemed to be straight. But...he very rarely comes here without her, he rides past my house at least 4 times a day as his business is on the other end of my street but he won't stop to see me. He never calls, he has told me not to call him, I am to email him. Before DIL, we were close and I couldn't have asked for a better person that I could call 'my son'. Now, it's gone. It's like in his eyes, I don't exist. I have fought with myself over why he allowed this to happen. I have done everything possible to repair my relationship with him and her but it just gets worse. I feel like he now just plain avoids me. I knew that once he married, they become one and he cleaves to her but no place in the bible says he should ignore his parents. I have kept my mouth shut (not easy for me) on numerous occasions and basically been told if I do see him, it's on his terms. Well...I don't even see him! I saw him the weekend before Mother's Day. Every holiday they are busy.
I ask myself should I just blow him off as well or what do I do? His wife speaks to me only if she has to and it seems very icy and cold through gritted teeth. I wish with all my heart she would just say what it is I did to really make her hate me. If I only knew...I would do whatever it would take to regain the friendship we once had. I never knew I could shed so many tears and be so hurt by something such as this. Usually, I can just move on but I can't get past it. Is it true? Is there In-law Taboo? Any comments left would be appreciated. There is way more to this but being disabled, it's too hard to go into all of it. I just know I am getting more and more depressed by it. I feel like an alien at times...
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