"The In-Law Taboo"

I've been up all night trying to figure out why there is this thing I call "The In-law Taboo"?
Often I've thought about writing a book about it. It's like an automatic response that you are not supposed to like your In-laws. I've heard of people who have wonderful relationships with their in-laws, but my life doesn't work that way no matter how hard I try. I'm not talking about my husband's parents, although that has been bumpy at times, I have survived it. I'm relaying how awful it feels that my DIL dislikes me! I have never done a thing to her. He's changed completely toward me. I don't even know him anymore. This has gone on for 3 years out of 4.

Believe it or not this started over a Christmas Ham that I was late bringing to their house 3 years ago. Since then she has held a grudge against me and turned him on me as well. We didn't speak for over a year, then I begged him to be back in my life in Feb. and we are on speaking terms. For awhile it seemed to be straight. But...he very rarely comes here without her, he rides past my house at least 4 times a day as his business is on the other end of my street but he won't stop to see me. He never calls, he has told me not to call him, I am to email him. Before DIL, we were close and I couldn't have asked for a better person that I could call 'my son'. Now, it's gone. It's like in his eyes, I don't exist. I have fought with myself over why he allowed this to happen. I have done everything possible to repair my relationship with him and her but it just gets worse. I feel like he now just plain avoids me. I knew that once he married, they become one and he cleaves to her but no place in the bible says he should ignore his parents. I have kept my mouth shut (not easy for me) on numerous occasions and basically been told if I do see him, it's on his terms. Well...I don't even see him! I saw him the weekend before Mother's Day. Every holiday they are busy.

I ask myself should I just blow him off as well or what do I do? His wife speaks to me only if she has to and it seems very icy and cold through gritted teeth. I wish with all my heart she would just say what it is I did to really make her hate me. If I only knew...I would do whatever it would take to regain the friendship we once had. I never knew I could shed so many tears and be so hurt by something such as this. Usually, I can just move on but I can't get past it. Is it true? Is there In-law Taboo? Any comments left would be appreciated. There is way more to this but being disabled, it's too hard to go into all of it. I just know I am getting more and more depressed by it. I feel like an alien at times...